A wedding and a marriage are two different things. One stands for the ceremony, the other, for the commitment. One stands for the party, the other, for the life. One stands for the event everyone is eager to attend, the other, for the situation everyone is eager to meddle with.
In a society that have commercialized weddings into an industry, I often see weddings as a means to throw a party. We are not celebrities nor socialites, who can host annual birthday bashes that will have photography sessions or videos. We are simple people, and weddings become a way of putting together an event where we are king and queen for one day. Where all of our movement, our smiles, our laughter, even the way we put on our shoes, are pieced together in an AVP with a romantic love song for a soundtrack after. How else can you use A Thousand Years as a soundtrack to your normal day-to-day life, without being Bella or Edward?
On Dec. 8, 2012, I know four people who tied the knot with their respective partners. For one, I stood in as a maid of honor, and I thank my dear friend, for allowing me that. It has restored for me the sanctity of the ceremony, and has made me realize why people choose to be 'wed' when they get married.
It started with the night before, as I give up a night of party and beers with other friends, for a night of simple Cinema One pleasure with the bride. We talk about the wedding, family life, other stuff that are nonsense, and everything in between, until she and I fell asleep.
The day of the wedding, we are a bit unsure as to what to do. There are errands, phone calls, people to coordinate. There is a bit of drama here and there as some things don't happen the way we expect them to, but I keep telling myself, don't sweat the small stuff, this will be over soon.
The bride joined me and our other friend standing in as a bridesmaid, in the bathroom, to share a bit of breathing space. There is so much happening outside the bathroom as the entourage prepares, the photographers take photos of the accessories and dress, and congratulatory videos are taken. At that moment, I see the pressure and anticipation in her eyes, and I tell myself, it's time to step it up. It is not about waiting for this to be over soon. It is about making it happen just the way she wants it to.
As I walk here and there to make sure everyone is lined up, the guests are seated where they should be, and the right song is playing, I feel a surge of energy. I used to tell this same friend, every girl needs a friend who will slap her on the face when the friend thinks she's being delusional. And now, every girl needs a friend who will yell, pressure and challenge everyone to ensure the wedding of her dreams happen the exact way she planned it to be.
The wedding coordinator cues to me that all is set, and we can start the march down the aisle. I tell her to stop, there is only one thing that will signify we can start. I turn to the groom and ask him if he's ready, this is the moment. And we stand there for a minute that felt longer, as he hyperventilates a little, and, I can imagine, realizes all this will only be set in motion if and only if, both of them are ready, in more ways than one. He gives me a yes and a smile, and in the same breath, he walks down the aisle.
I eventually get my turn to walk, and while I do so, I smile and I look around - it's a great wedding. As I reach my seat, I turn back and look at the bride. A Thousand Years begin singing into the background, and I think when she took her first step on the aisle with her mom and dad, all of us looking have one collective thought. Perfect. The song is perfect, the dress is perfect, the aisle, the seats, even the breeze at the time is just right.
It is that moment that I realize why people choose to get 'wed' when they get married. A wedding is where your family, and everyone else who know you, come together to give you away to another family. It is a time where your parents and siblings and best friends take it in their hearts that it is no longer just them who are in your life now. It's a means to help the people around you accept and welcome this new person in their own lives. It is how you tell the people around you that you are happy, and that this is your choice, and that you wish they will all be happy for you.
On my turn to give a speech, there are so many things I plan to say, both funny and sad, witty and profound. But everything that needs to be said has been said, and I felt I couldn't give justice to the joy that was in the air that night. I love writing. I love words. But that day, I came to understand the true meaning of a few words I throw around so carelessly - and so chose to be speechless.
I walked away after the reception, and didn't join any afterparties that night, neither with friends, nor with the happy couple. I chose to stay with Ken, under the brightly lit stars, lying down on the beach, with a mango shake and a hotdog.
Congratulations to our bestest friend, Toni, and to our new friend, Carlo. There are no words to describe the joy we feel for you :)
