On my first Valentines Day in Singapore, I was amazed to see how big of a holiday it was in the small city. I took the train and everyone around me were carrying bouquets of flowers. I arrive at work, and the ladies are either waiting for a flower delivery (and sighing a little when the delivery that arrived wasn't for them), while the men are struggling to find flower shops who would deliver last minute orders without charging obscenely. In the evening, the restaurants were incredibly packed, getting a cab was near impossible, and people were just...everywhere.
Years later, I go home to Manila to find that the intense celebration of Valentines Day has landed. Not a single public place is without decorations. At work, various activities are taking place, small and big. We have balloons, games, even little notecards you can write on and have someone deliver for you. People were exchanging gifts and arranging dinners and night outs. It reminded me of one other holiday when all this madness happens. Is it Christmas that day?
What struck me the most is that these people participating in the events and getting hung up on Valentines are not couples. These are friends saying "hi's" to other friends. These are buddies sending a funny joke to another. These are employees sending a "thank you" to their boss. These are bosses sending a "good job" to their team. These are children sending flowers to their mothers.
What used to be an event for couples only, have become an event for all. A holiday that used to remind of romance, now celebrates love. I don't celebrate Valentines Day, but this year, I wondered, why not?
Valentines Day is a reminder for us to express love. In our fast-paced life of technology, work and social networking, it can be easy to forget. If you have been badly hurt by a previous relationship, or have long been searching for someone to be with, and couldn't seem to meet anyone "right", it can be easy to forget. The problem with forgetting is that you not only forget to express love, you forget the feeling of how it is be given love as well. And somewhere along the way, you lose the courage to continue searching for it, and just believe that it's not something you deserve, or make yourself believe it's not something you want. You may forget that there are people around you who do love you as much as any boyfriend or girlfriend would. Sure, you don't go out on dates, there are no romantic kisses, but you are there for each other. Having people around you who care for you is the best reminder that love will be there.
A while back, while waiting for my turn to go parasailing, a friend asked if I was sure I wanted to do it, wouldn't I get seasick and end up vomitting? I did get seasick, and I did vomit after the ride. Did I enjoy parasailing? Definitely, it was the closest I was to flying. Valentines Day reminds us that love, as that wonderful movie says, is all around. And that even if you're hurt, or lonely, scared and hopeless that you'll ever find it, you should still go on. You may end up vomitting, but the feeling of giving love, and being loved, is the closest we have to flying.
Happy Valentines Day to all, and to all, a good night!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Monday, December 10, 2012
Define: words
A wedding and a marriage are two different things. One stands for the ceremony, the other, for the commitment. One stands for the party, the other, for the life. One stands for the event everyone is eager to attend, the other, for the situation everyone is eager to meddle with.
In a society that have commercialized weddings into an industry, I often see weddings as a means to throw a party. We are not celebrities nor socialites, who can host annual birthday bashes that will have photography sessions or videos. We are simple people, and weddings become a way of putting together an event where we are king and queen for one day. Where all of our movement, our smiles, our laughter, even the way we put on our shoes, are pieced together in an AVP with a romantic love song for a soundtrack after. How else can you use A Thousand Years as a soundtrack to your normal day-to-day life, without being Bella or Edward?
On Dec. 8, 2012, I know four people who tied the knot with their respective partners. For one, I stood in as a maid of honor, and I thank my dear friend, for allowing me that. It has restored for me the sanctity of the ceremony, and has made me realize why people choose to be 'wed' when they get married.
It started with the night before, as I give up a night of party and beers with other friends, for a night of simple Cinema One pleasure with the bride. We talk about the wedding, family life, other stuff that are nonsense, and everything in between, until she and I fell asleep.
The day of the wedding, we are a bit unsure as to what to do. There are errands, phone calls, people to coordinate. There is a bit of drama here and there as some things don't happen the way we expect them to, but I keep telling myself, don't sweat the small stuff, this will be over soon.
The bride joined me and our other friend standing in as a bridesmaid, in the bathroom, to share a bit of breathing space. There is so much happening outside the bathroom as the entourage prepares, the photographers take photos of the accessories and dress, and congratulatory videos are taken. At that moment, I see the pressure and anticipation in her eyes, and I tell myself, it's time to step it up. It is not about waiting for this to be over soon. It is about making it happen just the way she wants it to.
As I walk here and there to make sure everyone is lined up, the guests are seated where they should be, and the right song is playing, I feel a surge of energy. I used to tell this same friend, every girl needs a friend who will slap her on the face when the friend thinks she's being delusional. And now, every girl needs a friend who will yell, pressure and challenge everyone to ensure the wedding of her dreams happen the exact way she planned it to be.
The wedding coordinator cues to me that all is set, and we can start the march down the aisle. I tell her to stop, there is only one thing that will signify we can start. I turn to the groom and ask him if he's ready, this is the moment. And we stand there for a minute that felt longer, as he hyperventilates a little, and, I can imagine, realizes all this will only be set in motion if and only if, both of them are ready, in more ways than one. He gives me a yes and a smile, and in the same breath, he walks down the aisle.
I eventually get my turn to walk, and while I do so, I smile and I look around - it's a great wedding. As I reach my seat, I turn back and look at the bride. A Thousand Years begin singing into the background, and I think when she took her first step on the aisle with her mom and dad, all of us looking have one collective thought. Perfect. The song is perfect, the dress is perfect, the aisle, the seats, even the breeze at the time is just right.
It is that moment that I realize why people choose to get 'wed' when they get married. A wedding is where your family, and everyone else who know you, come together to give you away to another family. It is a time where your parents and siblings and best friends take it in their hearts that it is no longer just them who are in your life now. It's a means to help the people around you accept and welcome this new person in their own lives. It is how you tell the people around you that you are happy, and that this is your choice, and that you wish they will all be happy for you.
On my turn to give a speech, there are so many things I plan to say, both funny and sad, witty and profound. But everything that needs to be said has been said, and I felt I couldn't give justice to the joy that was in the air that night. I love writing. I love words. But that day, I came to understand the true meaning of a few words I throw around so carelessly - and so chose to be speechless.
I walked away after the reception, and didn't join any afterparties that night, neither with friends, nor with the happy couple. I chose to stay with Ken, under the brightly lit stars, lying down on the beach, with a mango shake and a hotdog.
Congratulations to our bestest friend, Toni, and to our new friend, Carlo. There are no words to describe the joy we feel for you :)
In a society that have commercialized weddings into an industry, I often see weddings as a means to throw a party. We are not celebrities nor socialites, who can host annual birthday bashes that will have photography sessions or videos. We are simple people, and weddings become a way of putting together an event where we are king and queen for one day. Where all of our movement, our smiles, our laughter, even the way we put on our shoes, are pieced together in an AVP with a romantic love song for a soundtrack after. How else can you use A Thousand Years as a soundtrack to your normal day-to-day life, without being Bella or Edward?
On Dec. 8, 2012, I know four people who tied the knot with their respective partners. For one, I stood in as a maid of honor, and I thank my dear friend, for allowing me that. It has restored for me the sanctity of the ceremony, and has made me realize why people choose to be 'wed' when they get married.
It started with the night before, as I give up a night of party and beers with other friends, for a night of simple Cinema One pleasure with the bride. We talk about the wedding, family life, other stuff that are nonsense, and everything in between, until she and I fell asleep.
The day of the wedding, we are a bit unsure as to what to do. There are errands, phone calls, people to coordinate. There is a bit of drama here and there as some things don't happen the way we expect them to, but I keep telling myself, don't sweat the small stuff, this will be over soon.
The bride joined me and our other friend standing in as a bridesmaid, in the bathroom, to share a bit of breathing space. There is so much happening outside the bathroom as the entourage prepares, the photographers take photos of the accessories and dress, and congratulatory videos are taken. At that moment, I see the pressure and anticipation in her eyes, and I tell myself, it's time to step it up. It is not about waiting for this to be over soon. It is about making it happen just the way she wants it to.
As I walk here and there to make sure everyone is lined up, the guests are seated where they should be, and the right song is playing, I feel a surge of energy. I used to tell this same friend, every girl needs a friend who will slap her on the face when the friend thinks she's being delusional. And now, every girl needs a friend who will yell, pressure and challenge everyone to ensure the wedding of her dreams happen the exact way she planned it to be.
The wedding coordinator cues to me that all is set, and we can start the march down the aisle. I tell her to stop, there is only one thing that will signify we can start. I turn to the groom and ask him if he's ready, this is the moment. And we stand there for a minute that felt longer, as he hyperventilates a little, and, I can imagine, realizes all this will only be set in motion if and only if, both of them are ready, in more ways than one. He gives me a yes and a smile, and in the same breath, he walks down the aisle.
I eventually get my turn to walk, and while I do so, I smile and I look around - it's a great wedding. As I reach my seat, I turn back and look at the bride. A Thousand Years begin singing into the background, and I think when she took her first step on the aisle with her mom and dad, all of us looking have one collective thought. Perfect. The song is perfect, the dress is perfect, the aisle, the seats, even the breeze at the time is just right.
It is that moment that I realize why people choose to get 'wed' when they get married. A wedding is where your family, and everyone else who know you, come together to give you away to another family. It is a time where your parents and siblings and best friends take it in their hearts that it is no longer just them who are in your life now. It's a means to help the people around you accept and welcome this new person in their own lives. It is how you tell the people around you that you are happy, and that this is your choice, and that you wish they will all be happy for you.
On my turn to give a speech, there are so many things I plan to say, both funny and sad, witty and profound. But everything that needs to be said has been said, and I felt I couldn't give justice to the joy that was in the air that night. I love writing. I love words. But that day, I came to understand the true meaning of a few words I throw around so carelessly - and so chose to be speechless.
I walked away after the reception, and didn't join any afterparties that night, neither with friends, nor with the happy couple. I chose to stay with Ken, under the brightly lit stars, lying down on the beach, with a mango shake and a hotdog.
Congratulations to our bestest friend, Toni, and to our new friend, Carlo. There are no words to describe the joy we feel for you :)
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