Define: time-out

In nostalgic moments in movies or books or any other romantic media, we always hear or see the phrase "this can change your life". Now that I am working with people, I realize that there really are moments that can change a person's life. One tiny decision that someone else makes for them, can spell the difference between success and failure in the future.

Therefore, if you are tasked to lead a team or work with people, remember these words: this can change some one's life.  Take the context of corrective action memos. Oftentimes, we issue them to team members who, in a nutshell, have screwed up. However, it's important to realize that while for us, it may be just another company protocol we need to follow, for the person, it is an important, singular learning event.

One of the things I haven't done in my life before 2011 is issue corrective action memos to people. I had always been an individual contributor, and never had to coach, motivate nor penalize anyone in my teams at work. I had feared that the confrontation involved in these kinds of interactions can be intense and pressurizing. That I have to be on edge and alert to attack on these moments.

When I remembered that a few years back, these people were me, all of a sudden, coaching became easy. I tried to think back to the times when I would screw up at work and get very anxious at what sermon the boss is going to give me, and think back to how my superiors then handled the situation. Some did well, others didn't. Those who didn't do well, I can't remember anymore. I don't even remember what the screw-up was. Those who did well, I remember like they just happened yesterday. I remember what I did wrong. I remember what I was told. I remember how I improved after.

So what do we do then? Simple, take the time to put yourself in the person's shoes. Reflect on how this person is feeling now, what he/she is thinking, where he/she is coming from. More often that not, simply putting yourself in their situation for a second can remind you that you probably were in that position once, and that, consequently, will remind you of how you felt at the time. Were you embarrassed? Did you feel ashamed? Were you smug and thought you didn't do anything wrong? Were you assertive?

More importantly, you will remember how you felt about the person who gave you the coaching for it, and the corresponding memo. You would remember if you shrugged off the incident afterward because you didn't like your supervisor. Or if you cried afterwards for being yelled at or humiliated. Or if you quit out of anger.

Think of these situations as critical learning events. By the terminologies themselves, you are supposed to provide "corrective action", meaning after you have served the memo, you would expect corrected behaviour in the future to come. And for correct behaviour to happen, a person needs to learn from the experience. He/she needs to understand where the gap was, and what needs to be done to cross it.

Realizing it from this perspective has made coaching easier for me. Instead of viewing it as a session to point out mistakes, I now view it as a session to impose a time-out, a break in the system for both myself and the person, for us to think together about the screw up that happened. What I often find is that I too learn from the session always in so many ways, and it has now become a pleasant experience for me.

Of course, learning doesn't happen overnight, and that's the real reason we have "prescriptive (or -ion?) periods" for these corrective action memos. Well, OK, these roll-off/prescriptive periods are also for the benefit of tracking, so we all have a timeline of events. What we usually fail to remember though is that it's not always a prescriptive period for a corrective action to end its effectivity. In the context of learning, it's the period you're providing the person to "learn" from this mistake and prove that learning happened by demonstrating corrected behavior.

Throughout the prescriptive period, the person is going to stumble along the way, miss a few items here and there. But remember that these are all part of the learning process. We need to constantly remind the person to get on track, and tell them if they're doing a good or bad job. Even more important, we need to assure the person that their learning is important. That they are within a safe environment wherein even though we are monitoring for hits and misses as their supervisor, we are not judging them internally as human beings.

In the craziness of the daily grind, we often forget that at the end of the day, we are all the same person - someone trying to earn a living so we can go on with life. Sometimes, we get sucked into the daily motions of emails and meetings, that working with people become the last agenda in our minds, and we resort into tick-marking the items we need to do: have I conducted a 1-1? Yes. Did I document and serve a memo? Yes. Did I submit to HR? Yes. Did the person leave before I can hire a replacement? No. And afterwards think that our work in that event is done.

If it were all that easy and automatic, leading people would've been handed over to machines and computer programs. But it's not that easy. Because the tick mark that you squeezed into your busy calendar can change the course of someone else's life.

I opened my iGoogle account to get to my shortcut for my school's website, and got digressed instead to reading the Tumbleblog. Reading 'The One with the Online Dating Game' inspired me to take a few minutes to reflect and write, and maybe change some one's life. Thanks, Megzy, for always keeping me focused on what matter most :)

Define: costumes

I had a boss once who told us, "inefficient people cannot pretend forever." This was in relation to someone supervising our team then, and didn't do a very motivating job of it. He would make us go on overtimes without clearly identifying what we needed to do. He would ask us to go to work over the weekends, and we find ourselves sitting with no workload. He would yell at people in the room to the point that some ended up crying on the spot with the shame and humiliation. He would accuse some co-workers of conspiracy and confront them as to "what they're up to". In a nutshell, he was terrible.

After a while, the horrible superior did leave. And so, I held on to that statement the higher boss made, to the point of it being a sort of mantra for me. Whenever I encounter difficult situations brought on by difficult people, I say, "inefficient people cannot pretend forever."

At some point though, you meet different people, and you see a wider view of the world, and you realize, aren't we all in reality, inefficient? A friend of mine likes to use the Peter Principle - you are only promoted to your highest level of incompetency. So, really, all of us are inefficient at some point. All of us reach a stage when we can't pretend anymore.

At which point, we start to actually do the job we should have been doing. We stop pretending to be the "face" of the job we thought we should project. Once we reach the point when we can't pretend anymore, we start thinking, "well, I've done all the things the self-help books, and management modules and MBAs taught me to do, and they don't seem to work." So we bring in ourselves, costumes and perceptions shed off, the self who got hired to do the job in the first place.

So, while that statement is still true to me - inefficient people cannot pretend forever - I don't render it applicable now to just the "difficult" people whom I think make life frustrating. It's a statement that applies to me now. With any given new task, project or job, I have to make sure that my "pretend" phase is short, because that's the phase I'm most inefficient. I'm too busy looking the part, I have little time to actually act the part.

Define: cheerleader

Just a year back, I shudder at the idea of people management. I know myself and I know that it's not my strength. No, I haven't actually tried it full time before, but with all the projects I've handled, taking care of the people involved, motivating them, disciplining them and all that, is just the hardest aspect.

Sooner or later though, everyone needs to go through a "growing up" period. I can't be an individual contributor forever. As I age and take on bigger, decision-making roles in the workplace, I need to work with people and guide them to reach their potential. Sometimes, it includes listening to all their blow-by-blow accounts of how their day went. Sometimes, it means prodding and prying until they open up and help me understand the real challenges they face.

A boss said a few weeks back that a people manager's job is about cheering team members on. I have pictures in my head of myself walking through the office aisles with pom-poms and streamers, yelling "you go!" While it looks fun, in real life, it's exhausting, and I think the reason why that is, is because to be able to cheer someone on, you build up these happy, positive thoughts in you, and transfer them on to someone. With each employee you cheer on, you are a few ounces of positivism less within your own supply. Unfortunately, there's no Gatorade or energy drink you can drink to replenish your own happy, positive thoughts immediately. The only way to replenish them is either by getting them from someone else (i.e. be cheered on yourself), or rest for a while and recover. All these combined - exhausting.

Yesterday, I walked into a room of hopeful individuals in our company who were taking an exam needed for them to be promoted. When I opened the door, all 5 fresh, young faces looked up in a mixture of panic and effort to appear composed.

Here are the people I work for. Here are the reasons why I do what I do. I am no longer young, no longer a part of the twenty-something bunch boasting of high potential. In people management, I am now part of the bigger world whose responsibility is find and develop those twenty-something bunch so they reach their potential. In essence, I need to ensure that these 5 people, and all others like them stay focused on that exam, stay focused on their goals, and more importantly, find those goals early in their career life. For that brief 10 seconds, looking at all those faces, I felt replenished with a whole month's, maybe year's worth, of positivism.

With that, I go back, pick up my pom-poms and do a somersault. Figuratively. I never learned how to perform one.

Define: disappointment

You and your boyfriend are reaching that all-important first month anniversary. You both plan for a nice candlelit dinner, a walk in the park, and a movie after. You bought the movie tickets for the best seats and checked the park opening hours. All your boyfriend needs to do is to reserve a table for two.

The long-awaited night comes, but alas – the restaurant tells you that you do not have a table. You could wait an hour though, says the maître d’, which would mean you’ll miss the entire set of coming-soon-movie trailers they always show at the start of the film. You are livid with anger! You turn to your boyfriend and ask, “how could this happen? We called!” Your boyfriend then looks at you and starts with, “ah honey…”

Your instinct is to spend the next few hours pulling your hair and muttering could-have-beens under your breath, withering away in anger at your monthsary being sabotaged. But how angry should you be? Let’s find out. It all depends on how the boyfriend delivers his first reaction to this faux –pas:

• Reaction #1: “I’m so sorry, hon. This is all my fault. I was going to call them yesterday but got pulled into so many other things at work. How about getting a quick snack now, and then maybe they’ll have a table for us after the movie?” Would you be so angry at this explanation? I’m guessing not very much. He admitted it’s his fault, gave a reason as to why he didn’t call, and offered a possible solution. A quick snack at Mcdonalds does sound fine, right?
• Reaction #2: “Hmmm. I wasn’t able to call them. But let me talk to the maitre d’. Surely she can do something for us.” And then boyfriend walks off to talk to Madame maitre d’. You’d probably still be angry, he obviously forgot… and he didn’t even say that all important word – SORRY. But he’s going to do something. So until he can’t get you that table, simmer down for the meantime.
• Reaction #3: "Hmmm. I wasn’t able to call them. I wanted to though, I wrote a to-do in my planner.” And then boyfriend joins you and you both sulk on the side walk. Oh I’m sure you are angry by now. Not only was there no call AND no sorry, he didn’t even try calling in the first place! But he did want to. He said so himself. Maybe he just got pulled to save the world just when he was about to pick up the phone in the phonebooth. Always happens to Clark Kent.
• Reaction #4: “Hmmm. I wasn’t able to call them. I didn’t think I should have. They usually have so many tables available anyway.” And then boyfriend joins you on the side walk and gives you a paper heart he fashioned out of a gum wrapper. Now he tells you that! Right when the damage is already done??? Not only was there no call, no sorry, no effort, he never really intended to call the restaurant. BUT, he’s considering now the error of his ways and has given you this gem that deserves a place in that scrapbook you started the first time you went out.
• Reaction #5: "That was tonight? Oh well, McDonalds is just over there.” And boyfriend takes out his iPhone and starts the next level of Tap-Tap Revenge. I’m not even going to enumerate what was lacking in this reaction, there are sooo many. But let’s zero in on the number one thing that this reaction lacked - care. He simply didn’t seem like he cared. Not even a false, pretend-care, which the boyfriend who gave you the gum-wrapper-heart-origami at least showed. Clearly, he doesn’t see how much this evening meant to you. And even now, when you’re angry, he still can’t see it because Tap-Tap Revenge just used Katy Perry’s Firework in the next game.

It could be your boyfriend. Or girlfriend. It could be your mom, your son, your boss, your colleague. Lots of people have disappointed us, and lots of them are about to. It’s just how the world works. Sometimes, our disappointment reaches that stage of blind anger – you’re just angry at everyone and anyone, you just can’t remember anymore why. And most of the time, a huge chunk of our anger is not about the person not being able to deliver what you expect him or her to do. It’s because they didn’t seem to care. Their initial reaction to your disappointment is all wrong, and not at all what you wanted to hear.

So next time someone does not deliver according to expectations, and further disappoints you with his/her reaction, ask yourself:

• Did the person admit the mistake? If yes, get over it, move on.
•  If not, did the person try to do his/her part? If yes, get over it, move on.
• If not, did the person intend to do what you expected? If yes, get over it, move on.
• If not, did the person consider your feelings/the consequences/that possibly you’re right? If yes, get over it, move on.
• If not, did the person at least pretended to care? If yes, get over it, move on.

If not, then, by all means, be angry. Then get over it, move on.

While it’s normal to feel disappointment and anger, wallowing in it and thinking about it all day is usually counter-productive. I’d rather paint my toenails than think about the multitude of ways I can do things better if I were placed in the disappointing person’s shoes. Disappointment is a part of life. So as soon as you feel it, try to break the disappointment down right away until you find out what about the incident disappoints you the most. And then after that, wallow in anger accordingly, but never long enough to miss the next episode of your favorite TV show.

Disclaimer: Of course, I’m oversimplifying. If you’re going through something more traumatic like a real loss, a breakup, sickness, and all those life-altering experiences, getting over it is usually not as simple as this. But, you can still try J .

Special thanks to Meg, James and Ivan for formulating this 5-level disappointment test with me. Meg needs a Jaguar, by the way.

Define: biology, part 1 - the Scientific Method

While I work in training, my educational background is in Biology. Yes, once upon a time, I was a dedicated scientist who knew how to dissect organisms, identify parasites under the microscope, name corals while walking at the beach, and lure wasps into a test tube while feeding it with honey-water.

Biology is one huge never-ending practice of the Scientific Method. We're constantly in the lab doing whatever kind of experiment of the moment. While it may have the reputation for being a method you can only use in science-related experimentation (I can't be sure, but it may be because of the words "method" and "science" used in the same breath), it's actually grounded on simple tasks of problem-solving, that can be adapted in any and most situations.

For instance, it can act as a guide or workflow when you need to create a new training material.

• Identify the problem. Why is there a need for training? What gaps can be addressed by training?
• Formulate the hypothesis/es. Find out what causes the gaps to understand how to address them.
• Formulate the test predictions. Write the learning outcomes you predict will happen after learners complete the training.
• Review the related literature. What existing materials, references and resources are out there? Sift through these to see what else needs to be developed.
• Design the methodology. Outline the lessons, activities and materials that need to be developed in order for the learning outcomes to be met. Then start crackin' at development.
• Test. As with any system that is born out of design, a course needs to be tested for errors in functionality and accuracy of content. It undergoes rigorous feedback and back and forth testing to make sure it's sound for use.
• Analyse the results. Once the training goes live, and even before it does, constant evaluation is important to make sure it addresses the learning outcomes.
• Make your conclusion. Of course, after everything, you need to conclude something. The difference in scientific experimentation is that after testing, you get to conclude if your hypothesis and predictions are correct or not. In training, the conclusion should be the positive, that the training was able to address the problem. Because if it didn't, maybe you identified the wrong problem in the first place, or maybe it was something that training is not needed for.

So, what does Biology have to do with training? or with office work, for that matter? I get asked that question often, and my answer is always the same: a lot. There's so much that Biology taught me that is beyond memorization of terms, computation of energy and cutting up organisms.

Learning is never really wasted. The secret is recognizing the underlying principles and adapting them to daily life.

This site gives good info on how we used to decide on things without experimentation.

Define: seriousness

(The personal essay I submitted to the UPOU MDE Program, dated October 2010. I sound so serious. Thankfully, I really was. Instructional Design is something I really enjoy doing; I take any endeavor to make me better at it with seriousness.)

An instructional designer's primary job is to organize information into a logical sequence of events that enables a learner to assimilate the knowledge effectively. The learning events are packaged into training materials that can be delivered either through instructor-led classroom training, e-learning modules or printed job aids. I believe that with its focus on pedagogy, technology applications and education management, the Master in Distance Education or MDE program will provide me with the theoretical foundation and practical knowledge needed to succeed in the field of instructional design.

I have been working as an instructional designer since 2003 and have learned through experience and mentoring from other training professionals. With the training programs I create, I strive to engage target learners through activities, relevant reading materials and whenever possible, the use of technology. I find ways to advance my own development in the field by reading industry blogs, joining discussions and attending live and online conferences featuring new technologies. I hope that by enhancing my own skills, the resulting training programs I develop come out sound, credible and recent, formed through methods supported by industry best practices.

In my present job, I support the training and development needs of work-from-home employees. I have since been fascinated with online learning and how it takes advantage of a learner’s autonomy. While face-to-face classroom trainings leverage on interpersonal communication, online learning leverages on a person’s ability to motivate and teach oneself. In an age where personal computers and smartphones are regular everyday necessities, online learning is a means to reach a wider audience, with increased results. Even in live webinars, I observe that learners participate more when they have the option to use chat to partake in the discussion, as opposed to the often daunting task of sharing ideas verbally through a microphone or in front of a class. Online learning also paves the way for more in-depth assessments, incorporating questions that encourage learners to solve scenarios through their own research and collaboration with peers.

With these in mind, I find that online learning is a good specialization within instructional design. The MDE curriculum presented a good mix of courses on learning theories, technology and management used in distance education, which I believe can provide structure and organization to my experience. I also hope that it introduces me to the works and writings of industry experts, allowing me to learn from their discoveries and best practices. Moreover, there are courses within the program that sounds insightful, such as Distance Learning in Language Education and m-learning. These are only some of the elective courses I am keen to enroll in, if given the chance.

As I complete the MDE program, I would like to be involved in projects that use distance education in universities, such as what the UP Open University is doing. I have observed many cases of education taking a back seat due to the demands of everyday life. More distance education programs, especially those geared towards certificate and diploma courses that build toward bachelor degrees, will enable more people to work and learn at the same time, at their own pace. Personal accountability for one’s education increases, and so is the value of education itself.